Solitude

I read an article on Thought Catalog that spoke about how women who are single for a large period of time end up to be the happiest. You can read that here. I did want to write about this before reading this article because it's something that I can relate to so now's the time to share my thoughts.

Growing up, I was the girl that did not have a boyfriend throughout middle school or high school. I didn't even have my first boyfriend until my senior year of high school at 17 years old. It made me feel insecure and unattractive. I look back and I'm glad I didn't date any of those silly boys. My first few boyfriends weren't anything serious only lasting a few months.

I had two serious relationships and the last one being the one I felt he was my person and last but things happen for a reason and for the better. (please don't settle for less than you deserve) I feel like women become comfortable with being with their partner and stay in relationships for the wrong reasons. But that's a completely different topic.

I have now been single for almost three years. People often ask me things like "don't you feel lonely?" or "don't you want a boyfriend?" and my answer to that is always no. I have gone on dates with guys but it has not gone anywhere. I like to just let things happen. I have tried online dating but I just can't do it. It's like you're online shopping. You keep scrolling and swiping left in hopes of finding something better. If I found someone whose profile was intriguing, they were just so dry and boring. I am old fashioned, I want to meet someone in person at a random place and in that moment feel like that will be the start of something. This may be my hopeless romantic speaking right now.

During the span of these three years, I've really learned to appreciate and be comfortable with my solitude. I've learned not to feel awkward when I eat alone in public or going to the movies alone. I've had the time to focus on myself, my goals, my career. I have grown closer to my friends and created new friendships that I deeply cherish. I've become selfish which I never was. I do whatever I want whenever I want. I love my independence and am happy on my own.

I often make jokes about being forever alone but I know that I am going in the right direction towards the person who's meant for me. I know it sounds cliche, but that person will be worth the wait. Until then, I will continue living my life for me. As long as I am happy with the person I am and the person I continue to become, all is well by me.

Sorry for this random rambling of mine, I feel like I made no sense. I hope you all enjoyed reading so thank you and I appreciate it.